Flashback, January 2020, Reijer Staats
Russians!
With our move to Spain looming, we were booked up with Christmas dinners: at Francis's (Johan's sister), at my mother's with my sister Meris, and with our neighbours in The Hague. Santa Johan had also booked me in for a relaxing massage at Massage Point – at 11 a.m. on moving day. Who comes up with that? After a final emotional farewell, we set off for Spain.
After just over two days of travelling, we arrived in our Spanish village of Pinos del Valle with our dogs, podenco Mèlo and Dalmatian Joey. Our temporary home, Casa Una Más, was decorated with flags and the greeting Bienvenidos.
On the third day, we saw an Audi A7 and a large Mercedes van at the neighbouring Airbnb – both bearing Hertz rental stickers on the rear windows – struggling to navigate the narrow, winding street and the tricky parking spots. Two not-so-posh families, dressed in gaudy ski gear, the women with glossy, plumped lips, stepped out of the rented vehicles. From our rooftop terrace, Johan and I watched the scene unfold. We looked at each other and in unison said:
"Russians!"
Okay, if you want to ski, you're within an hour of the Sierra Nevada lifts from Pinos del Valle. But to come here for a winter holiday...?
Litres of vodka and an XXL Weber barbecue were hauled out of the Mercedes, and through the night, tacky Russian disco music blared until dawn, with smoking, drinking, chatting and meat roasting on the small Airbnb patio – right outside our bedroom window.
On New Year's Eve, we had a brief WhatsApp exchange with the immediate neighbours and decided to meet outside our front door. Our Spanish neighbour Josefina shook her head, complaining about the amount of meat on the Russians' barbecue:
"Mucha, mucha, mucha carne en la barbacoa. ¡Los Rusos aman la carne!"
Pointing at our growling Joey, neighbour Robin joked dryly in his English humour that Russians also love dogs. Josefina covered her face in shock:
"¿Los Rusos aman los PERROS en la barbacoa?"
It was only two days later that the noise level from the Russians increased again. I decided to ask them for quiet outside in my boxer shorts. It worked. We didn't hear a peep after that.